Blackadder – The Whole Damn Dynasty (1485-1917)
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MILLENNIUM DOME EXCAVATIONS UNEARTH VALUABLE HISTORICAL DOCUMENTS
BLACKADDER AND ALL HIS CUNNING PLANS ARE FOUND IN TREASURE CHEST AT THE GREENWICH SITE
THEY HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO A BOOK OF THE COMPLETE SCRIPTS AND NEVER BEFORE SEEN, NEWLY WRITTEN MATERIAL AS SET DOWN BY MR RICHARD CURTIS, MR BEN ELTON AND MR JOHN LLOYD.
EDMUND BLACKADDER IS OUTRAGED AS ROYALTIES ARE TO GO TO COMIC RELIEF – HE DETESTS GOOD CAUSES.
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The Whole Damn Dynasty
Ben Elton, and John Lloyd
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some will always be total gits. From medievel nastiness, through Elizabethan and Regency glory, to the mud and the sauteed rats of First World War, Edmund Blackadder and his despicable catamite Baldrick have Ruined England’s reputations as a country with a great history.
The Blackadder Dynasty is agreed by historians to be the vilest dynasty these British Isles have ever known – all historians, that is, except for Professor G.R. Blackadder, who describes the Blackadders as ‘the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most like a bunch of little kittens in a basket type family of all time’.
Here at last, is the complete history of that despicable dynasty, including:
- The first ever recorded Blackadder, a Druid named Edmun, who worked as an overseer on the construction of Stonhenge, supervising a gang of motley labourers headed by a fellow know as Bad Reek, on account of the noxious gases that excaped from his every orifice.
- The Duc D’Blackadder, enobled by William the Conquerer in 1066 for his helpful suggestion of compiling the Doomsday book so the Normans would know exactly what to steal.
- The period spanning the Hundred Years War, known in Blackadder circles as the Hundred Years Hide, when the entire family spent the whole century in a large cupboard under some stairs in Northumberland.
- Cardinal Blackadder, Keeper of the Privy Rolls, who got on like a house on fire with Henry VII; spending long evenings at Hampton Court dissolving monasreries, tinkling with virginals and stuffing each other’s orifices with lightly-oiled lampreys.
- The 18th Century Edmund Blackadder, butler to the Prince Regent, the stupidest man in England. Well, stupidest equal. Baldrick’s always hard to beat.
- A certain Doctor Blackadder, who during the reign of Queen Victoria had in fact invented penicillin the Wednesday before it was discovered by Sir Alexander Flemming, but had thrown it away because he didn’t think the name was catchy enough.
And these are merely the tip of the extremely nasty and cunning ice-berg.
BLACKADDER: THE WHOLE DAMN DYNASTY chronicles some of the great eras of this extraordinary house, turning history on it’s head. It provides an invaluable catalogue, through the ages, of the adventures and misadventures of Edmund Blackadder and his side kick Baldrick. And, if like Baldrick, you can’t read, there’s loads of colour pictures to look at instead.
in the French marriage service”
Publication Date: Available now via the Amazon links on the left
Price: £15.99 or there abouts