Drekel’s Reign of Terror (Ice Queen sequel)
Written by Jean Akins
Formatted in this Script Form on February 23, 2002
(Note to reader: You will have a much better understanding of all this if you’ve viewed all the The Black Adder first season episodes starring Rowan Atkinson as Prince Edmund.)
Our story begins:
Morgan le Fay (sorceress in the time of King Arthur) has been following the exploits of Drekel, as she has admired him from afar in her own time. But there are gaps in what she has been able to observe, so she is stumped as to what caused his mysterious disappearance which led to his army being defeated by the Wishlings. She makes it her mission to solve the mystery, track him down, bring him back and win his love, for she wishes to rule the world by his side as his queen.
She succeeds in finding him trapped inside the videotape where little Rowena (daughter of Drekel and Panda) had sent him. Morgan le Fay is unable to bring Drekel out of the videotape because Rowena is the only one who can release him, as she was the one who placed him there with the combination of her Wishling/Demon magic.
Morgan le Fay decides to use her own sorcery to go inside the videotape to be with Drekel. She does, and saves Drekel just in time before the various mechanisms of the torture chair mutilate Drekel.
Morgan le Fay brings Drekel up to speed so he will understand where he is: trapped inside a videotape of The Black Adder. He and Morgan look about inside the castle. They enter the hallway and see the dead bodies of Philip of Burgundy and the six men known as The Black Seal. Percy and Baldrick had killed them with goblets of poisoned wine.
Morgan: What now, my lord?
Drekel: Now I take over this kingdom. If I cannot return to my own real world, I’ll be damned if I’ll settle for anything less than being Supreme Ruler of this fictitious one.
Thanks to Morgan le Fay who brought him up to speed, he was filled with the knowledge of everything that had happened in Episodes 1 through 6 of the The Black Adder.
Drekel: That Prince Edmund had ambition, I’ll give him credit for that. But the pathetic silly sod didn’t have what it really takes to successfully steal the throne. It’ll be a piece of cake for me.
Morgan: The royal family is down the hall. I’ll wait while you do what you need to do, my lord.
Drekel nods and heads down the hall.
Morgan hides behind the doorway and watches as Drekel walks into the court where we see King Richard, Prince Harry and the Queen. The royal family are surprised upon seeing Drekel, who they believe to be Prince Edmund, for Drekel and Edmund look amazingly identical.
King Richard [bellowing]: Edgar! [The king could never remember his son’s name.] Haven’t seen much of you around lately!
Queen: Yes, Edmund, where have been you been?
For it had been over a year since the real Edmund had left the castle in search of some evil men to help him take over the kingdom, after his father had stripped him of his dukedom and left him with the sole responsibility as Lord Warden of the Royal Privies. That had been the final straw that pushed poor Edmund over the edge, causing him to cast aside his loyal friends Percy and Baldrick and leave the castle.
Prince Harry: Really, Edmund. It wasn’t good of you to shirk your responsibility for the past year. The privies have been sorely neglected!
Drekel smiles coldly and politely as he slowly walks toward them. The members of the royal family sense something very different and odd about this man who they believe to be Edmund. He has an air of self-confidence and arrogance about him that they’d never seen before. His entire demeanor has changed. There is no sign of his usual cowering in fear of his father’s loud verbal abusiveness, or of Edmund reluctantly giving in to whatever his older brother Harry told him to do.
Drekel: I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention. Surrender the kingdom to me, or die.
The royal family stare at Drekel in disbelief. Then they burst out laughing.
King Richard [laughing loudly]: Oh, Edna! You’ve said some ridiculous things in the past, but this tops them all!
Prince Harry [laughing]: Yes, Edmund. How long did it take for you to come up with that one?
Queen [laughing]: Edmund, my dear, that was very amusing. Now run along and tend to the privies, like a good boy.
Drekel raises one eyebrow as he looks at them all laughing at him.
Drekel: Is that your final answer?
The king stops laughing and stares at Drekel.
King Richard: YES! Now do as your mother told you and get out of my sight, you pathetic little weed!
Drekel moves quickly. He strikes the king on the left side of his neck with a powerful blow, then grabs his head, and with one powerful twist, he breaks the neck of the king. The queen and Harry hear a loud crack, then see King Richard fall dead to the floor.
Harry and the queen are in shock. The queen screams. Prince Harry yells and charges toward Drekel, but Drekel has already pulled a daggar from the dead king’s belt and plunges it into Harry’s chest, aiming for his heart. Prince Harry gasps, falls to the floor and dies.
The queen screams in disbelief at what she has just witnessed: the deaths of her husband and eldest son.
Drekel [turning to the queen]: And now for you. I was going to spare you, for you do love Edmund and saved his life when he was about to be burned at the stake after he was falsely accused of being a witch. But since you yourself are a witch, I can’t risk you harming me with your magic.
Queen: Edmund? You speak as if y-you’re n-not Edmund? Who are you?! Where is my real son Edmund?
Morgan rushes over.
Morgan: Let me do it, my lord.
She uses her powerful sorcery and sends a fireball shooting over toward the queen who tries to move out of its path, but she isn’t quick enough. The fireball hits the queen and engulfs her. The queen screams one last time and explodes. All that is left of her is a smouldering pile of ashes.
Drekel: Thank you, Morgan.
Morgan: You are most welcome, my lord.
Drekel: And now, the kingdom is mine. [He kicks the dead body of the former king.] Would you be good enough to remove this garbage from my castle, Morgan?
Morgan: Of course. [She uses two more fireballs to burn the bodies of Richard and Harry.] We’ll have the servants sweep away the ashes.
They leave the court to explore the rest of the castle. Soon they come across Prince Edmund’s room. Drekel looks through Edmund’s wardrobe collection.
Drekel: Interesting choice of clothing. I myself don’t care for the pointy-toed shoes, but I do like his choice of black as the main color, and the snake designs.
Morgan: Drekel, isn’t there something missing now that you are king?
Drekel: Missing? I don’t think so. What do you mean?
Morgan [smiling coyly]: Someone to rule by your side. A queen.
Drekel: Yes, of course. For behind every great man is a great woman. You are so right. Morgan, would you be willing —
Morgan [eagerly]: Yes, my lord?
Drekel: — to help me bring someone into this world so I can have her rule by my side here as my queen? Since I have no way of getting out of here, I cannot fetch her here myself. But you can fetch her for me, can’t you? She’s all I can think of, all I’ve been dreaming of for the past five years. I think I’ve fallen completely in love with her. She’s the most beautiful, passionate, exciting creature I’ve ever known.
Morgan is stunned and asks herself, what just happened here? I finally track down this demon, save his
hide, he takes over this kingdom, and NOW HE WANTS SOME OTHER WOMAN TO BE HIS QUEEN??!!! WHO IS THE BITCH??!! I’LL KILL HER!!
Drekel: Morgan? Is there a problem?”
Morgan: Problem?! Problem?! I don’t believe you! After all I’ve done for you! Saving your pathetic hide, bringing you up to speed so you won’t be stumbling about here not knowing who everyone is and what this is all about, and yet you won’t ask ME to be your queen?! You’d be DEAD by now if it wasn’t for ME!
Drekel: Morgan, don’t raise your voice at me. Of course I do appreciate what you’ve done for me. I happen to have a very important position for you, but it’s not that of queen.
Morgan [still angry]: What?
Drekel: How about that of Royal Sorceress and Advisor to the King?
Morgan: Why can’t I be your queen as well as all that?
Drekel: Because there’s someone else I have in mind to be my queen. Do you have a problem with that?
Morgan: YES! Will this someone else also be sharing your bed? [Morgan already knows what his answer will be.]
Drekel: Of course she will be. She may be a bit reluctant at first, but I plan to persuade her.
Morgan: Look at me, Drekel! Am I not beautiful? Am I not ravishing? Have I not been loyal to you? Why doesn’t my name come to your mind when you think of having someone rule by your side as queen?
Drekel sighs wearily. Women, he thinks.
Drekel: Morgan, of course you are beautiful. And ravishing. Yes, yes. But you’re not the one I have in mind to be my queen. Can’t you just accept that?
Morgan: NO! You ungrateful son of a bitch! You have no idea how long I’ve admired you and followed your exploits! You have no idea how hard I’ve searched for you after you mysteriously disappeared, causing your army to lose to the Wishlings! How could you be so ungrateful?!
Drekel finally has had enough.
Drekel: Fine. So I’m ungrateful. Are you turning down my offer to be my Royal Sorceress and Advisor? Because if you are, then please leave. Go back to your real world and leave me here. I’ll just have to figure out another way to bring my beloved queen-to-be here to join me.
Pity Morgan already killed the former queen, thinks Drekel. Maybe I could have persuaded her to use her witchcraft to bring Panda here.
Morgan: OOOHHH! You are IMPOSSIBLE! I HATE YOU! I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVER LOVED YOU!
Drekel: Please don’t scream. I’m standing right next to you, and I can hear you just fine without you needing to raise your voice.
Morgan raises her hand at Drekel.
Drekel: And if you’re planning to hit me with one of your fireballs, don’t even try. I happen to have powers of my own, as you should know.
Morgan: You think your magic surpasses that of mine? If you had bothered to take the time to get to know me, to ask me to be your queen, to love me, then you’d know how very powerful I am! I’ve had years to learn all about you, but how much do you know of me?
Just then there is a loud noise outside the castle. They both stop arguing and go over to the window. They see a large army headed toward the castle. It is being led by Henry Tudor who is determined to take over the kingdom.
Drekel: Truce for now? We have a little problem to deal with at the moment.
Morgan: You mean YOU have a little problem to deal with at the moment. I’m leaving. Just see how well you fare here all by yourself without ME to help you. I doubt you’ll survive the rest of the day without me to save your pathetic sorry ass!
Then she uses her sorcery to transport herself back to her world leaving Drekel behind.
Drekel: Good riddance.
Drekel quickly changes clothing so that he is now wearing one of Edmund’s outfits with the black adder designs on the sleeves. Then he goes to the armoury. The knights of the castle are already there quickly donning their armour and getting their weapons, as this is a surprise attack by Henry Tudor and his army.
A Knight: Prince Edmund, where are King Richard and Prince Harry?
Drekel: No time to look for them. We must defend the castle. Hurry!
Drekel grabs a large sword and rushes outside.
A Knight: M’lord! You’re not wearing any armour!
Drekel: Trust me. I know what I’m doing.
The knights look at each other. They are all thinking the same thing: Prince Edmund has either lost his mind or is bent on suicide.
What they don’t know is that Drekel, being a centuries old demon, is also a strong and excellent skilled warrior. The knights follow Drekel outside. The enemy is approaching.
The knights of the castle can’t believe what they see during the battle: Drekel fights with the strength of twenty men and with the finest swordsmanship they’ve ever witnessed. The enemy is quickly cut down in size as Drekel stabs and decapitates the knights of Henry Tudor’s army. The screams of the dying men and the smell of their blood permeate the air.
Percy and Baldrick are on the roof of the castle operating the cannon. They manage to hit some of Henry Tudor’s men.
Finally Drekel comes face-to-face with Henry Tudor.
Henry Tudor: Prince Edmund, your reputation doesn’t reflect at all what I’ve witnessed today. You’ve been keeping your fighting skills a secret all this time. But it’s not you I’m concerned with at the moment.
Drekel: No? Who, then?
Henry Tudor: The king. Where is he? So that I may run my sword through his guts and claim the throne?
Drekel: You’re looking at him.
With one mighty swift stroke of his sword, Drekel slices Henry Tudor’s head from his neck. The head falls to the ground and rolls around for a little bit.
The few remaining members of the enemy stand there aghast. Drekel’s knights quickly round them up and are about to take them prisoner.
Drekel: Hang on! What are you doing?
A Knight: Taking these men prisoner, m’lord.
Drekel: I don’t think so. Everyone, listen up! New rule: WE TAKE NO PRISONERS! Do you think I want to be wasting our resources housing and feeding prisoners?
A Knight: What are you saying, m’lord?
Drekel: Maybe it’ll be clearer if I just show you.
Drekel crosses his arms and touches the black adder designs on his sleeves. Using his demon magic he conjures two giant black adders, each 100 feet long.
Drekel: Dinner time! [He points to the group of rounded up prisoners.]
The pair of giant black adders quickly strike the prisoners with their poisonous bites, and minutes later they eat the dead men.
Drekel: Wasn’t that yummy, my pets? Now you stay outside and guard the castle. Daddy has other things to do.
The knights are shocked. They all follow Drekel back inside the castle.
Drekel: Oh, if anyone here is planning to do something stupid, like accuse me of being a witch and get me burned at the stake, don’t even think of it. My faithful black adders could always eat you, so keep that in mind.
The knights nod and pledge their loyalty to him.
The scene is Merlin’s workshop. He is gazing into his crystal ball.
Merlin [muttering to himself]: Blast that Morgan le Fay! Everything had finally fallen neatly into place to ensure that Panda and Edmund could live happily ever after, and she had to go and ruin everything! Drekel is now alive in that videotape world where he should have died in Edmund’s place! How in the world is this going to be fixed, if it indeed can be? I’m so weary of this. I’ve already done my part. Morgan should fix this mess, since she’s the one who created it.
Morgan le Fay materializes in Merlin’s workshop.
Morgan: Oh, of course I’ll go back and fix my mess, dear Merlin. AS IF!!!
Merlin: Morgan! What in the world possessed you to interfere in what was meant to be?
Morgan: You’re a fine one to be talking about interfering. I did some checking up on you just now. You did some meddling yourself regarding Drekel when he about to rape that Wishling whore, that Panda. She’s the one he’s so obsessed with now, right? The one he wants to bring into the videotape world to be his queen? Tell me, his feelings of love for her now: Are they genuine, or is he still under your spell?
Merlin: The spell wore off that night over five years ago. So his feelings for her must be real.
Morgan: Damn him! Well, he can just stay there for all eternity.
Merlin: Morgan, you can’t leave it like this. What you’ve done will have serious repercussions on the future.
Morgan: I really don’t care. These mortals are of little importance to me. So I’ve disturbed the balance of their pathetic useless lives? So what? And why do you even care?
Merlin: So you refuse to take responsibility for what you’ve done and make it right?
Morgan: Yes. If you care so much for these mortals, you go ahead and undo what I’ve done. Good-bye. I’m off now to find something new to amuse me. I’m bored now, bored of Drekel, bored of you, bored of everything here.
Morgan le Fay vanishes.
A fortnight has passed since Drekel took over the kingdom. He and Morgan le Fay are the only ones who know what really happened to King Richard, the queen, and Prince Harry. Drekel (posing as Edmund) declares himself as the new king, since no one can account for the whereabouts of the royal family.
Remember the woman who pushed Edmund off the ramparts, causing him to fall and be attacked by a savage dog in the episode titled “The Queen of Spain’s Beard”? Well, she recently becomes very interested in the new “Edmund” after she hears of his reputation of how he fought with such superb strength and swordsmanship against Henry Tudor and his army. She works up the courage to approach “Edmund” in hopes of winning his affection.
Woman from the Ramparts [kneeling before Drekel]: Your Majesty, I humbly apologize for my atrocious behavior years ago when I pushed you off the ramparts. Please forgive me.
Drekel: Hmmm? Pushed me off the ramparts? Oh, yes. Whatever. [He searches his memory. Thanks to Morgan for bringing him up to speed, he remembers that episode where poor Edmund, hoping to get laid, had written her that love note, the note she mistook to be from Prince Harry. He looks at the young woman kneeling before him. He grins. This one’s for you, Edmund, he thinks.]
Woman from the Ramparts: So you forgive me, my lord?
Drekel: But of course, dear lady. I’ll even give you the opportunity to show me how much you regret your actions, if you are sincere.
Woman from the Ramparts: An opportunity to show you? Yes, of course I am sincere. What would you have me do to prove it?
Drekel [smiling wickedly at her]: Meet me tonight in my bed chambers. Be discreet. And wear something seductive.
Woman from the Ramparts: I will, my lord.
She curtsies before him and leaves.
That night she sneaks into the king’s bed chambers. It is pitch dark and she has to feel her way around the room. She finds the bed and climbs in. She lies there, her limbs outstretched.
Woman from the Ramparts: My lord, here I am. Do with me what you will, for I give myself to you unconditionally, to prove how sincere I am in my apology.
She feels a male presence eagerly joining her in the bed. He jumps on her, tears off her clothing and tosses it aside as if peeling a piece of fruit. Then he quickly takes her in a totally selfish, rough way with no regard for her feelings or of satisfying her. She winces in pain, but does not cry out. After he is finished with her, he turns her over on her stomach, slaps her bottom and leaves without saying a word. She lies there wondering if she made a mistake coming to his bed chambers. Then she again feels a male presence in the room. He’s back for more, she thinks? She is about to say something about saving it for another time, but he is already on top of her, roughly squeezing her breasts and mauling her entire body. He grunts excitedly as he takes her again and again. There is no gentle foreplay, no tender words of love, no kisses, just rough animal-like mating. She is regretting her decision to prove to Edmund how sincere she is in her apology. She feels like her loins are about to be split apart and she whimpers and cries. Finally it is over. He rolls her over and slaps her very hard on her bottom which is already sore from the first slap. Then he leaves the room.
She lies there sobbing and feeling very, very foolish.
Outside in the hall is Drekel softly whistling the theme music to ‘The Black Adder’ while casually lounging in a chair and carving an apple. Percy is there, shortly joined by Baldrick who is catching his breath and adjusting his clothing. Percy and Baldrick both have big smiles on their faces and are looking most satisfied. They look at each other and do a high-five.
Drekel: So how was it? [He pops a slice of apple in his mouth and offers some to Percy and Baldrick, which they take.]
Percy: Not bad. Oh, who am I kidding? It was great! Thank you, my lord.
Baldrick: That was the best. Makes up for when you sent me to do it to the Infanta of Spain. Where did you ever find a prostitute who likes it so rough and enjoys a hard slap on the rump?
Drekel: Oh, she came to me earlier and offered her services. But I thought it would be the perfect way to show you both how deeply sorry I am for treating you so badly. So we’re all friends again? Percy, I do apologize again for those terrible things I said to you right before I left the kingdom. And you, too, Baldrick. How could I ever cast aside my two best and loyal friends? I must have been out of my mind. Do you forgive me?
Percy: Yes, my lord. Of course. It’s good to back together, the three of us!
Baldrick: Yes, it certainly is.
Drekel: Good, good! Well, see you tomorrow morning. Good night.
Percy: Good night, Edmund.
Baldrick: Good night, my lord.
They leave. Drekel smiles wickedly. He had toyed with the idea earlier of brutally ravaging her himself, but he honestly had no desire to touch her, for he was still obsessed with Panda. He enters the bed chamber and lights a torch to bring some light in the room. The woman from the ramparts is lying in a fetal position, weeping.
Drekel: Okay, time to leave. I want you out of my bed chambers. NOW! Get out! I don’t want to see, hear or smell you for the rest of the night! And if you ever show your face around here again, I’ll sic an entire pack of savage dogs on you! Then you’ll know what it feels like to have your neck bit, you sluttish whore!
He picks up her torn clothing from the floor and tosses it at her. She tries to cover herself with it unsuccesfully as it keeps falling. She covers the front part of her body by crossing her arms and meekly leaves the room, choking back her tears as she continues to weep.
Drekel [muttering to himself]: I hope she’s learned her lesson. Oh, God. Now I’ll need a fresh change of bed linens before turning in, after all that’s happened in my bed.
He calls for service and in a few minutes a chamber maid arrives with fresh linens. She exchanges the soiled linens for the clean ones and leaves.
Drekel goes to bed and sleeps soundly. He hopes Edmund appreciates what he just did for him, if he only knew.
The scene is the home of Panda and Edmund. They are happy and very much in love. It is night and the members of the household had just turned in and fallen asleep. So now Morgan le Fay comes along and decides to put a fly in the ointment of their bliss.
Morgan: [thinking to herself]: So that’s Panda. The Wishling whore who stole the affections of Drekel. Why should she be so happy with this Edmund fellow? She’s had them both, and it’s simply not fair.
She is wearing a magical cloaking device so that Panda and Edmund cannot see her. She quietly unlocks the cabinet and removes a videotape. It is the very same videotape from which Panda had wished Edmund, the very same videotape where Drekel was trapped inside thanks to little Rowena the half Wishling-half demon.
Meanwhile down the hall in little Rowena’s bedroom, Callie awakens. She senses a disturbing presence in the house. Callie puts her front paws on Rowena’s face, mews and gently nudges her. Rowena wakes up and looks at Callie.
Merlin is observing all of this while gazing into his crystal ball back in his workshop. He uses his magic to send a message into Rowena’s mind:
Merlin: Rowena, hurry and go to your parents’ room. You must save your father!
Rowena quickly gets out of bed and runs down the hall to her parents’ room. Callie follows. Rowena arrives just in time to see Morgan le Fay toss the videotape into the fireplace where there were embers still burning, for the cloaking device does not work on Rowena being half demon.
Edmund wakes up and cries out in pain. Panda wakes up and looks at him.
Panda: Darling, what is it?
Edmund: I don’t know. I hurt all over. Panda, I’ve never felt so much in pain. Not since I was almost burnt at the stake! Ooowww! It feels like I’m about to die!
Panda: No! [Panda tries to use her Wishling magic to help Edmund, but it doesn’t work. Edmund is becoming physically transparent and is losing his substance.]
Meanwhile back inside the videotape in the fictional world where Drekel was trapped, fireballs are falling from the sky. People wake up in a panic, for it looks like the world is coming to an end. For them, it most certainly is. Not even Drekel’s pair of giant black adders can do anything to defend the castle against the hell that has broken loose in their world. The fireballs hit them and they writhe in pain and try to find cover from the continuing onslaught of fireballs falling from the sky.
Drekel is at a loss as to what to do. It looks like he, along with everyone else in this fictional world, will die a horrible agonizing death. Smoke fills the air from the fires that erupt all around them. The heat is unbearable.
He thinks of Panda, of how he will never be able to see her again to tell her how much he loves her and wants to be with her.
Drekel [praying silently]: If I ever survive this, I promise to turn over a new leaf, to never commit acts of evil again. Just let me live so that I may have a chance to see Panda one last time!
Back in Panda’s home Rowena sees and hears Edmund in pain. Must save Daddy, she thinks. Then she remembers when she had sent Drekel into the videotape. She never understood why there were two Daddies, but in her childlike way she simply accepted it and never said a word about it to Panda or Edmund. She makes a wish, the most powerful one she ever made. Then she turns to Morgan le Fay and wishes the disturbing presence out of her home. Morgan le Fay vanishes and is sent far, far away. Drekel disappears from inside the videotape and materializes in Panda’s bedroom so that he takes up the same space that the dying Edmund is occupying. The two souls and bodies merge into one.
Panda: Edmund? You are no longer in pain?
Edmund/Drekel is solid, no longer transparent and losing substance. He eagerly embraces Panda and holds her tight as if he is afraid she will disappear, never to be seen again.
Edmund/Drekel: No longer in pain, my dearest. And so very happy to see you.
Rowena: Daddy! You’re okay now!
Edmund/Drekel: Yes, my child. I’m fine. Thank you.
The videotape is destroyed in the fire. Panda, Edmund/Drekel, Rowena and Callie live happily ever after.