The Royal Gardener

Rowan Atkinson has created a new reincarnation of Blackadder for a TV advert promoting the Queen’s jubilee concert. The new character, Sir Osmond Darling-Blackadder, is keeper of Her Majesty’s lawn sprinkler. The following is an edited transcript of the advert (the boring voice over bits have been removed). I must thank Blackadder Hall friend John A. for transcribing it for us.



The Advert:

Opening
[music – royal type of fanfare]
Camera pans down to see Rowan Atkinson sitting behind a desk in the state room of Buckingham Palace.

[captions – Sir Osmond Darling-Blackadder – Keeper of the Queen’s lawn sprinklers]

Scene 1 – sitting down in the palace:
Her Majesty the Queen requests and commands to celebrate her Golden Jubilee. She will be hosting a classical music concert and rock concert here at Buckingham Palace; entry will be open to everyone and will be entirely free. The gardens will host a special event, it has been through an entire make-over with the Schipka Cherry Laurel tree as it’s shining star.

[standing up]
Now absolutely not!
We don’t want thousands of people wandering around here willy-nilly, leaving orange peel on the petunias and frightening the corgies.

Scene 2 – outside in shrubbery area:
I said to her, I said you’re the Queen not Fatboy Slim.

Scene 3 – outside on the lawn:
I mean, it will be just an absolute scrum, you wont be able to move there will be people here and here and here.

[montage of footage with voice over about the concerts]

Scene 4 – close up back in area of scene 2:
Oh yes, if I had my way it won’t be happening.

[montage of footage with voice over about the concerts]

Closing scene – i.e. a shot of Buckingham Palace:
And here

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